03:59, May 16, 2015 (UTC)

Eight. Rise. Waste time. Shit has poor texture from yesterday’s composition of ice cream sandwiches & canned baked beans. Shower

Nine. Consider waving from path of exile for breakfast. Do so, jam and cheese on bread

Ten. Leave. Lunch: Banana, bread tip, chocolate chip cookie. Water bottle. Return for plastic X-Box poncho, fits in pocket. Tilley hat. Bring 3 5 dollar bills for change. Cold, wear blue gloves. Notice no phone. Oh well

One bike is being loaded upon arrival. Walk in circles. Some guy shows up. Doesn’t smoke anymore, vapes, talks about 17 year old room mate joining in. Mention not having phone, guy talks about anxiety whenever without. Mention isn’t own phone. Talks about honesty, roommate being honest. Listen, but paying attention to ice cream counts. Talks about not being able to drink non diet pepsi. Has a tattoo on back “Owned by Pepsi”. Talks about sucralose being an order of magnitude more efficient than sugar. Correct miscount: 13 watermelon instead of 12. Had noticed because both ends of the weaved popsicles were facing the same way, implying parity was uneven. “There’s a guy you keep, he’s honest.” Don’t know why it’s so hard to act in the correct rational method of being selfish. Probably an unhealthy dose of idealism: desire that everyone go for the cooperative maximum win strategy rather than the rational selfish strategies. Don’t discuss these philosophical points of game theory in business, just point out flawed contests where shouldn’t be put up when one can buy the prize for an eigth the earnings. Also avoided bringing up interesting game theory concepts when on the news the day before it had been noted that not having consistent slower maximum speeds around schools could be safer since both drivers & children are less inclined to feel safe (related concepts: bike helmets cause more accidents, adding a road can increase overall congestion). Mention not having phone to both owners, all well. Day looked glum, someone wasn’t coming in, ended up coming late, had lost spot. Had reservation for weekend, reservation nullified. CEO wants to instill more discipline in workforce this year. Chuckles from those around while demonstration of how one has to go real slow to allow for people to be convinced they want ice cream while listening to bells, feeling heat, shuffling for change, & so on. Somewhere mentioning of every day being the weekend once summer vacation starts. Seventeen year old vendor shows up looking for work, nothing available, asks if there’s any ice pack work, but had done over 70 day before, things were too busy to shuttle people around, etc

Granted all of east side. So long as south of Dundas. Given heads up to check out mechanics, motels, construction. Workers wanting ice cream. It’s a bit of a rainy day though. Some guy isn’t showing up because the day’s not profitable enough. Put on X-Box poncho. Mention source being from mother. Have never owned an X-Box. Vape guy doesn’t like video games. Don’t mention that morning had been spent PC gaming

At one point one ice cream is stacked at bottom, other is stacked at top. Box is reorganized to have them side by side by CFO. Shared chuckling about bad organizational setups

Mostly have 12 of most ice creams. 24 bubble gum bars. Only 3 Moose Tracks. No mega ice cream sandwiches. Am given proper 10 dollar map. Told to return it well. Given 30 dollars in a baggy for doing change. Initial & sign waiver, ask for date. Inspect bike before heading out, point out disconnected brace in frame. CEO mentions fixing eventually, not a problem

Bike along York. Dead day. Shortly before Rectory a security guard asks for a mega ice cream sandwich. Search around for too long. Inform of deficiency, remark on having normal ice cream sandwiches. He isn’t keen on that, remark that he wants the sandwich with twice as much ice cream. Order change: Orange Creambar. Fumble change. No tip. He gives me back fifty cents since new order was fifty cents more. He was with a man, that man closes cooler properly, hadn’t clamped shut in nervous fit. Bike along Rectory to train tracks. There’s a train. No ice cream sales at train stop. Continue past Rectory, turn right along Egerton. Focus on maneuvering. Left turn onto Trafalgar. Some carpentry is occuring. Three men working. A man orders 1 orange cream, 1 cherry cream. Can’t find cherry cream, order change: 2 orange cream. No tip. Joke from another one of them: “You think you may have it bad sometimes, but then you remember that there’s people out there selling ice cream on a cold day.” Construction on Highbury. Push bike up overpass. Walk slowly, ring bells, mistaken movement for interest. Truck driving by yells “Dicky Dee!” No sales. Fear in descent: think “should call for help, stuck in a tree.” Walk down pulling bike back the whole way. A couple walks by, imagine letting bike roll over them. At one point left pedal meets right leg, left leg hops on one foot, kicking back to prevent the bike from gaining momentum in this moment of weakness. That’ll bruise, presumably. Continue along Highbury, some guy asks “You’re just going up Highbury?” or something like that, traffic makes it hard to discern, “Yeah”, continue on. No sale

Turn right somewhere, pass schools, cross guards, children in schools don’t have money on them, empty soccer fields, corner stores. Same franchise as what use to be behind own grade school. Keep leaning to meet Dundas. Detour for construction, no sales. Men cutting trees. Old woman standing by a tree in her yard. Ring bells for motels, no sales. Somewhere go into a motel parking lot, three doors are open, two of which have janitor crates out front. A lady walks by. Realize she’s the cleaning lady. Consider whether to go until Airport road or to try move back. Been needing to piss since Trafalgar. Somewhere in this zig zag someone yells “Ice cream!” from a truck. Pass school again, cross guard still sitting watch, somewhere pass a bus stop, a car is pulled over in peripherel vision, roll back, window scrolls down to a toddler looking out. Sour cup. No tip. Stand awkwardly for awhile after being asked if it comes with a spoon. It doesn’t. Mother says “thank you” to dismiss. Mumble back some pleasantry. A cross guard makes small talk. Enjoyed conversation. Don’t remember any of it

Continue until Hale. Push bike up to turn about. Bus signals yield. Let bike roll down. Gaining too much speed. Nearly falls down a ditch. Front flap opens, garbage comes out. Hat falls off into the background. Stop bike. Move onto grass by street. No glasses. Sight of hat several meters behind. Retrieve hat. See garbage while returning to bike, stuff back into front flap. Close front flap. Adrenaline is fun. Resume riding Hale Street with intent to work back to Rectory to piss. Quiet bells while passing old neighbor. Parents are out. Walk bike down steep hill. At parking lot of plaza black truck pulls over. Been watching every black truck that passes. Don’t notice where CEO is. CFO asks how much has been sold. Four fingers up to clarify what’s being said. Nods knowingly, issues: too fast, not loud, main streets. Demonstrates ringing. CEO loves when CFO rings the bells. Stay off main roads, competes with corner stores, people tune bike out as traffic noise, just another guy on the street. Reminds story of selling 800 units, meekly respond with same four fingers while stating four. CFO draws on allegory of tortoise & hare. Say moral is that hare shouldn’t’ve taken any breaks. Slowly utters “gotta take it slow & steady like the tortoise.” CFO pushes on seat wondering if it’s squeaking too much, CEO dismisses it as CFO’s weight. Was told business would pick up in a couple hours, school was getting out. Sent away, ringing bells harder now. Again alone in urban home territory

Turn off Hamilton to try less main street territory. Following an old lady & her middle aged son. Ringing bells behind them. Wondering how annoyed they are. Continue deeper into residential zones which seem unfamiliar, having always lived on main roads, or at least roads connecting to main roads. A mother & her daughter are standing. She buys polar bar. Didn’t know ice cream bikes were out, been years. Mention things started again last year. First tip. From here on tips will become more standard. Label her: unit 5. Continue winding the road, a man comes out, takes awhile on his order, ends up going with orange cream. Unit 6. Up the street a child is looking expectantly, roll towards them, their father goes for red white blue. Use to be called space rocket. Nobody will be calling them space rocket today. Unit 7. Circuit seems to be returning, cresecent descends, hit Highbury. Consider whether to cross. Decide to. This will be regretted, as the side streets on this side are small since the river cuts them short. Try to maneuver gracefully on small triangle for pedestrians to wait on. Drag bike backwards along 4 lane crossing. Nearly have bike run astray into car. Turn off onto non main streets whenever. Ride quickly to dead ends, then slowly return. Car stops, remarks on ice cream bikes not having been around for awhile. Buys fudgsicle. Unit 8. A child chases after on scooter, sister behind, out of breath, sour cup, ice cream sandwich. First ice cream sandwich, think box of sandwiches is closed, pull it up to open it, they all fall out from beneath, “guess it’s open now”, she nervously smiles. Throw the ice cream sandwiches into the corner where the box had originally been. Unit 9, unit 10. Somewhere unit counts increment until unit 14. Along one street there are no buyers, only talkers, saying it’s too cold, remark on having sold 14 units. Another talks of having been a vendor in the past. No ice cream, moving on. Hit Egerton. Take it across the river. Really need to piss, oh well. Lots of cars passing while crossing bridge, causes anxiety. Look at auto shop across street, two guys seem to be on break, no sale. Someone is biking opposite my direction on other side of street while pushing cart up hill. Have to keep turning with road

Want to hit Comissioners. Get into suburbia. Remember foolish times from tenth grade. Notice corner store. Don’t compete with corner stores. Turn off, had seen apartments while going up hill. Continue past a bit. Auto workshop from years before seems to be run down. Most of parking lot is pitted, dirty. Phone booth that offered warmth one night still there. Ride bike past woman with children. Children screaming for ice cream. She tells them no. Children chase after. Increase speed. A child on a green bike comes up. They want ice cream. Other children have already gotten freezies from somewhere else. They don’t have any money. They begin asking about free ice cream. Math is explained, based on concept of five dollar ice cream, how much will be being cost to self. Start leaving, child wants to come along. They think they’ll get ice cream out of that. Explain distances being travelled, from Dundas and Hale, mention their mother. Somewhere GPS tracking gets brought up, don’t know where button is, consider red flasher, kid presses it. Tries reaching into basket, swat away. Somewhere escape is made when mother shouts at him. Two boys & a girl are out front, they look to sell, shorter boy says he has seven dollars, but he spent three on baseball earlier, says he was spending it on both of them the boys. Girl goes to get money. Make small talk about poncho, ask what they think girl will order. Taller one guesses watermelon. Comes back with 10 dollars in change. Two sour cups, one polar bar. Shorter boy hands all ten dollars. Other boy mentions he could’ve just taken out a looney. Ask if he wants looney back, he let’s it go. Continue on. Along corner a girl yells “Ice cream!” having spotted me over fence, and heard bells; she comes up to look at menu. No money. Orders that return be made in future. Mention that a whole summer awaits. Come upon apartments passed earlier. Ring along them, no sales, at intersection a woman asks from a red car whether moose tracks is on sale. Confirm with price. The car turns left, stops. Light takes awhile, eventually cross, sell moose tracks. There are many people in the car. Many orders later 22 dollars has been spent on 21 dollars worth of product. Up to unit 22 now

From here unit counts will begin to blur, even at that present state, where everything should be clear. The path becomes too winding, cresents are found inside cresents. A rough push is made through an alley. Stop for short break here to eat bread, half of cookie, take two swigs from water bottle as bookends of meal. Continue on before body notices, once it realizes it can relax it won’t resume this pace. Somewhere pushing up a hill, struggling to continue ringing bells, a man begins asking about the season, talk is had of rough morning, of wearing poncho, first day, asked if the work is after school. Explain that school was dropped, that instead work had been done in software development for 3 years. Nodding. Wants a drink. No drinks; such things would melt cooler. Doesn’t want to buy nothing, wants to help out. Suggest sour cup. He decides on ice cream sandwich, sustenance for yard work. Tells “Consider it your lucky day” in rejecting change, thus causing an 18 dollar tip, thus causing a 920 percent commision rate. Continue on pushing up hills, easier now after break, not feeling as pressured to ring bells, strike upon Pond Mills. Recognize the town houses. Stop to orient with map

Turn down Devron. Coming along a girl orders along curve, nearly 360 degrees later children swarm. Girl leaves for father. During time 2 children had ordered something or another while daughter had been getting father. Informing him that all prices were below 5 dollars. Father arrives, takes charge. Bubble gum for children not his own. Tells them to tell their mother the man at 108 bought them that. Tired from pushing crate, can’t even triple 2.75. Suggests order be done with a calculator. Reads off numbers, price is agreed, down sell from fudgsical to polar bar, as can’t find fudgsicals despite having sold one previously. Daughter has polar bar too

Shortly down are more children. Girl leaves to get money from her mother. A man pulls in, gives boys some money. Enough for a polar bar & an ice cream sandwich. Girl returns with her mother & sister. Her sister has been crying over wanting to see her father. Don’t care about circumstances enough to recall. Mother pays with two five dollar bills. She returns to car, gather 75 cents change, she returns with 4.25. Bit of an awkard juggling of money as she’s handed change, then passes change she brought, along with change handed to her, & accepts back her five dollar bill. Downhill until back on Pond Mill, return to Commisioners after quickly verifying location on map. Check that ice packs are on top of product correctly, as otherwise the ice cream becomes ice packs for the ice packs & melts. Long downhill. Plan to go straight home, but decide to turn down Eagle Crescent. Remember sister’s pseudo boyfriend’s grandmother living in these parts. Turn into circle, man talks about ice cream being back, asks if this route is usual, explain it’s first day, scoping out region, doesn’t have money, says to come back another day, agree, mention a whole summer being ahead. Lots of people, no sales, old woman gardening ignores presence

Resume descent. Old couple walking dog. Bike turns into grass, worry about if that were to happen further down where the side is a ditch. At corner, meeting beginning of Adelaide, remember picking up a really nice hubcap around here, bike passes, going opposite way. Turn along, continue ringing bells in commercial district. Woman getting out of her car at carpet place. Woman standing at computer, looking at me from behind her glass wall. Consider recording bell ringing. Compare sound of different bell ringing techniques. Reach recognizable intersection. Convenience store there had a change of management when previous owners were busted for selling marijuana

Ambulance goes by. Eventually notice houses along Adelaide. Begin ringing consistently. A woman apologizes, she’s already carrying ice cream. Across the street a boy is crying for ice cream. There’s a smaller child beside him. His parents lock the toddler gate on their front porch. A woman signals to wait. She comes out, orders something. Ambulance goes by, mention one having already passed. Laugh at kid, still audibly crying. She has trouble ordering, can’t choose. Admit to not like ice cream, so can’t help. She says family on other side of street seems to be waiting. Don’t feel like crossing Adelaide, decide to continue on home. An orange haired man cuts off, starts talking about being an ice cream man in the past. Asks how much polar bars are going for. 3 dollars. Says he doesn’t want ice cream, walks off ahead. Wave by while passing him checking for mail. Reach bridge, remember drunk midnight walks in this region a week ago. Crossing bridge, see geese on river shore. Begin chanting “Geese” at varying rates. Biker gives quizzical look while passing

Ambulance goes by. See barricade ahead, through dirt parking lot of some facility the function of which is unknown. Begin chanting “Barricade”, “I’m going to break it”, “Break the barricade”, “It’s breaking”, “Going to break it”, “Breaking breaking breaking”, “It’s breaking”, “Broken”, “I broke it”, progressing while riding around barricade onto street. See up street a daughter & mother standing watching. Buys raspberry cups. Daughter had heard bells. Across the street a woman watches drive by. Push bike. Two adolescents signal to stop. One of them has worked this job before. They ask how much stuff is. All under five dollars. One jokes that everything’s going to be four fifty. Mention being out of moose tracks, so everything’s around three dollars. Asks about ice cream sandwich. Asks to see it. Unimpressed, “that’s heavy”, decide not to buy. Ride along Nelson, a family sitting outside their house, seem to already have ice cream. Turn right to return home. Park bike in parking lot. Knock a few times. Door is answered, “Watch my bike, I need to take a piss.” Nachos on the stove, don’t have any. Check time, 7PM. Long piss. Come out, drink water, eat rest of cookie, eat banana. Talk a bit. Asked if ice cream can be bought. Five for orange cream bar. Effort is going to be completely shot now that body is digesting

Get on to Hamilton. Cross street. See adolescents walking with some take out across street. Some men stop me, talk about having been an ice cream biker for twenty years. Talk about prices being higher, “Ten years of inflation will do that.” Talk about red white blue being called space rockets back then. Mention that that’d always been own popsicle of choice. A man from house behind motions over. Buys a space rocket. Spouse is in house, ask if there’ll be anything more, mutters something about feeding kids, only wants one. Twenty five cent tip

Coming up to convenience store with railing. Remember running into old woman at railing while biking to school in past. Decide to turn off & go around store other way. Turn into residential area, decide to take those regions to Adelaide. Go down a street where a child begins yelling for ice cream. Mother says there’ll be ice cream cake tomorrow. Father tells them to get in. Across the street three women stand talking. Slow down as one is staring. She asks another if they want any, they respond that they don’t, so continue on. Turn left

Townhouses to the left. Turn in. Had thought would be a small dead end street with a dozen houses. School bus use to stop for such a street. Was wrong. So many children. A girl orders to follow to her house. A boy runs off to get money. Two other boys make an order. Ask what is no longer available: fudgsicals, mega ice cream sandwich, cherry cream bar, moose tracks. Asks for orange cream bar. Sold out already. Fortunately notice cherry cream bars finally, thought they were space rockets, give him it, he doesn’t mind. Want to wait for boy who ran off, but girl is insistent. Follow her to corner of townhouses. More children. Many already have popsicles. A toddler walks up, says their mother says they can’t have ice cream, tell “She’s the boss”. He says he has money. Fifty dollars. His sister says he has nothing. He asks to ring bells, allow, pulling bells closer to ground, sister lifts him so he can reach. Demonstrate that one has to grab the bell & shake it. He starts trying to put his hands into baskets, swat away. A girl comes over with money, have trouble taking order as toddler is still ringing bells, buys a few ice cream sandwiches and a polar bar. Toddler sees bag of change, wants it. Explain that that money had been worked for all day, wasn’t going to start redistributing it. Sister mentions he’s weird about money. Shrug it off. Girl asks if she can buy anything for a quarter. Mention ice cream sandwiches being cheapest thing at two dollars. Boy who left is returning, he’s told the ice cream man already left. Ask they not reduce customers. He has no money, so leave. Girl asks if riding ice cream bike is like riding a bike with three wheels. Mention that it’s like riding a bike that weighs three hundred pounds, offer to let her try. She declines. Toddler asks for a hug, sister says he always wants hugs, awkwardly air hug him, hate kids, wave bye, leave out a different threshold then entry had been made, closer now

Hit Adelaide, turn along one way by overpass. Palm by thumb of left hand feels tender. At turn to cross beneath underpass a couple people stand in the parking lot of whatever place is stationed there. Pick up speed on empty road. Lonely road. Wave to girl in van. Last intersection, right towards storage shed on left. Nobody there yet. Wait awhile in front of gate, finally decide to open gate. Lay down, consider if there’s insects, notice ants, sit up, so many ants. Drink water. Bored. Begin counting money. Tired, use calculator. 125 in bills counted when owners arrive. CEO mentions that money is usually counted after product is collected. Explain boredom. Money is set aside to table inside storage. Asked how well things went, mention 920% commision on ice cream sandwich. Make to excuse returning early, is fine, better than showing up later. Mention needing to piss all day, don’t hear CFO’s response on how one usually attends such matters. Still waiting on other biker who went out in morning

Help with unloading ice cream. Bit tired, so sometimes being too slow to pull out next box. Am asked about mega ice cream sandwiches, mention not having had any, apparently was mistake. Explain ice cream sandwiches falling out. Find fudgsicals underneath space rockets. Fingers burn from touching ice packs too much during unload due to searching for ice cream sandwiches. Negative twenty four degrees celsius. Owners happy product is all still solid. Most new guys melt out their packs early on, always opening cooler before order is complete, getting ice cream out before being paid. Had it a bit easy, day was cold, hadn’t really opened cooler for first few hours. Mentions that they’d been watching from afar, had checked up while crossing bridge on Adelaide. Serious joke about safety in monitoring, if ever trouble arose while being monitored two two to three hundred pound men would suddenly intervene. Mention breaks giving out on Adelaide. Mention not knowing where GPS emergency button exactly is. Talk of things getting better as time goes on with weather & experience, person who had shown up late had pointed out that speed was too fast, but patience. CFO reiterates “I like this guy because he can do math”. Discuss needing to learn to take breaks, the job isn’t suppose to be hard, but explain that if a break is had & body begins digesting, work will be impossible. But impossible to go without proper breaks on days that aren’t cold

Mention tips being slow at first. CEO agrees, tips’ll come & go. Better when a vendor smiles. Mention not smiling. Service offered is quick & efficient transaction. If customer doesn’t like that, too bad. Tally is 134 owing. Glance over spreadsheet seeing how it all resolves, deducting 30 that’d been given at start of day, no record of tips. Give 9 dollars from bag of change, then begin sorting rest into 4 by 4 triangles to group them as ten dollars for conversion into bills. 70.25 after tips. CEO is happy first day went well. CFO shakes hand. CEO mentions that it’s annoying people don’t believe him that vendor’s make twice as much as the commision in tips. Explain why people have trouble understanding this: they believe that to have half their money be from tips, the customer’s have to pay twice as much for an order. But for the vendor to double their income on tips, the customer need only give a 20% tip. eg a 40 cent tip on an ice cream sandwich doubles the vendor’s income. CEO wonders how to explain that easily to people. Agree that getting into math is a hassle, CEO throws it aside “Just make smiles.” Bring up eunuchs, consider whether they’re over estimated on how many were in actual use for brothels or whether they were artificially mutilated, though the word mutilated was not coming to mind. (aside: looked up, castration was done for many societal functions, from having men who take care of children, choirs, & brothel managers). Was comparing self to an eunuch given lack of desire for ice cream. CEO was mostly agreeing that everyone loves ice cream until point became clear that the biker should not get high on their own drugs. Mention only having used calculator once throughout day, “There’s no shame in using the calculator,” mumble “Prefer not to, faster not to”

Talk about profits ramping with time, body adapting. Mention father starting in furniture repair feeling exhausted first day, lugging mattresses around, felt like moving, & would have to resume next day, but adapted. Talk of moose tracks margins being slim, considerations of raising price by a quarter. Margins cut hard by taxes. Try inquire into figures. No figures dispensed. Inquire if lack of figures is ignorance or trade secrets, no clear answer received. Raise matter of how to encourage attendence & new employees to get involved: simplify 2 dollar daily rental that’s reduced to a dollar after fifty dollars of sales to be a flat dollar. Explains said clause was suggested by lawyer/accountant. Explain that basic concept is that encouragement of daily attendence should seek to reduce flat costs, so that a worker that arrives five days a week isn’t paying five dollars compared to the one showing up only on weekends paying two dollars. Talk of next two days being filled, but welcome to arrive in morning to see if someone failed to arrive. Still waiting on biker who left in morning, they’re getting a little worried. Assure that two days break is much welcome. Will arrive on Monday, which being a holiday, should remain profitable

“Better than doing ice packs?” “Yeah, it pays four times as much,” own bike turns right out of view, but talk continues, “or more three times, but it’ll get there.” Consider shouting correction while passing by, decide not to. Consider mentioning interest in part time bike repair remains, decide not to

Things forgotten to a blur: randomly nodding at strangers, wondering if they will buy, but mostly they seem to just be being polite. Dogs always barking from whereever. Wondering if a check up is about to happen whenever a black truck drives by. Speeding up too much while ringing bells, the mind reorganizing the random jingling into trip hop. That the next time this happens, in only a few days, the memories won’t well up so much